#happy is the new #fake

"Can you be happy for 100 days in a row?" 

I came upon this website that challenges you to be happy for 100 days. They ask you to post one photo a day of something that makes you happy onto your social media site of choice. I can say that I was curious, a bit skeptical but interested enough to check it out. People that I know were logging in and posting photos of life, food, beautiful scenery, so naturally I was inclined to see what the challenge was all about. Upon further investigation I decided to call the whole operation bullshit. I mean, are we that depressed of a culture that we have to hashtag happy?

When you click onto the website (www.100happydays.com), it states "Can you be happy for 100 days in a row?" I mean the real challenge for me would be to run for a 100 days in a row, to feed the homeless girl that sleeps next to my car for 100 days, to keep my house clean for 100 days. These are real challenges, this....whatever this is, being happy is not a challenge. I could not stop shaking my head and feeling myself get angry.

The website goes on further to explain that 71% of people could not complete the challenge due to time. Time? I was not aware that it took time to be happy. I thought happiness was an emotion, a reaction to what is occurring in your life. I don't think that being happy should require thought or action. It should not be forced or coerced out of someone, it should be authentic, genuine and full of freedom to express yourself. If your life is that terrible, change it! A little backdrop for some of you, for two years of my life I was addicted to pain medication because I was hurting physically, emotionally and mentally. I was diagnosed as depressed and it was true. I never wanted to leave my house and it was hard to have conversations with people without starting to cry. My struggles are real and authentic, I don't need to have someone tell me how I should live my life, or that I should smile more. As if they have any idea what was or is occurring in my life. How dare anyone tell me how I should feel when they have never walked in my shoes. Don't presume that I am not happy or that I am not dealing with hard and serious life issues. We all are, and to be told that I am not happy or that I should smile more makes me feel that the work I am doing is in vein.

Do I need to smile to prove to you that I am happy, that I am grateful for my life. What are we looking for? Those that smile all day, that force happiness and joy on others, they think if they smile they will make me happy, as if I am not happy already. These "constasmilers" most likely go home and are miserable. They open up the fridge or break open a bottle of wine to drown their sorrows. You can put up a front, be fake all day but what happens when the crowd goes away, when you are no longer the center of attention or your photo was not "liked" over 100 times on Instagram? I wrote in my last blog post, can you love without being loved back and I mean that, can you wake up and be happy with absolutely nothing? Have you ever had nothing, truly, absolutely nothing at all?

The challenge asks you to post one picture a day of you doing something that makes you happy. I would ask though, what are you doing the rest of the day? Did a photo truly make you realize that you have a great life? I just cannot buy into this idea that posting a picture will make you happy, will make you appreciate the small things in life. I think the source of true happiness is in the everyday moments, when you're not looking for anything or expecting much. I think happiness is momentary and joy is everlasting. I find my joy in waking up and doing what I love everyday. I don't need to brag about my life, prove my self to others over social media and brag about how great my life is. It is and I know that, I have worked hard to do it. I cannot give anyone the solution to a happy life, I can however tell you that social media is probably the last place I would spend my time to feel good about myself. Set your own standard based off of what you love, what makes you feel great about yourself. Be content with the life that you were given.

I really wonder what this "happy" culture will do to us. If we are always happy what will we do when something really awesome comes our way? Don't dilute the feelings that you have, being happy should be a normal occurrence, it should happen everyday but not with force, not by feeling like you have to be happy otherwise your depressed. I hope to shine light on this, to inspire you to feel all emotions at the appropriate times. To be happy when good things come your way and when they come your neighbors way. To cry when you get bad news. To love when the right one comes your way. To dance when the music sings to your soul and to most of all let it happen in stride, in equal measure and without hesitation.