Saturday, April 26, 2014

Piano Man

"Are we teaching students to become like piano tuners who never experience the joy of just playing the piano? Do they know volumes about the technique, but nothing about the joy of practicing it? But if technique is all we teach, then there is no heart in our teaching."                        --Judith Lasater


Maybe one of my all-time favorite yoga teachers, rather mentor, Judith allows students to practice from a space that is rooted in tradition yet open to expression. I try to explore this space on my yoga mat. To do what I love, knowing the rules of how to play the game, and allowing variables to change, to just show up and to not feel judgement or lack of love is a beautiful place to live. Many times it is a space that is hard to recreate. So, stop trying to recreate a past memory. Start to make new ones!

Growing up one of my best friends father's was a piano tuner. He had the privilege of tuning piano's for all the great musicians that would come play in Detroit or Auburn Hills. And he would be there when they would warm up and I asked him what it was like to warm up with the "greats"? He said, "you know, nothing special. They play simple beats well." I was disappointed to say the least. But now, I get it. I love it! The excitement of practice comes from showing up, knowing how much you are capable of but allowing the beat to flow, to be uninterrupted by ego and to let your spirit flow freely.

I think yoga is like music, at times it entertains us. We go for the scene. Eventually that wears off and we are left in a space that is empty. It is like a song left on repeat. I can sing you a song, play the piano real loud. What matters is what your showing up with, an eagerness to learn, a readiness to change and an acceptance of what cannot change.

I want to be a teacher that gives cues, small cues that allow students to teach themselves. That is who I want to be known as. Students will remember how to do it right because they felt it, maybe they heard one cue, lift your gaze and it changed more than just their focus, it gave them feeling in their upper body. To be challenged, is a gift. To rise to that challenge is what changes us. Stop expecting others to do the work that you were meant to do. Because Billy said it best, "we're all in the mood for a melody, and you got us feeling alright." Someone can always make you feel alright, it is when you start making yourself feel alright.


Thursday, April 3, 2014

#happy is the new #fake

"Can you be happy for 100 days in a row?" 

I came upon this website that challenges you to be happy for 100 days. They ask you to post one photo a day of something that makes you happy onto your social media site of choice. I can say that I was curious, a bit skeptical but interested enough to check it out. People that I know were logging in and posting photos of life, food, beautiful scenery, so naturally I was inclined to see what the challenge was all about. Upon further investigation I decided to call the whole operation bullshit. I mean, are we that depressed of a culture that we have to hashtag happy?

When you click onto the website (www.100happydays.com), it states "Can you be happy for 100 days in a row?" I mean the real challenge for me would be to run for a 100 days in a row, to feed the homeless girl that sleeps next to my car for 100 days, to keep my house clean for 100 days. These are real challenges, this....whatever this is, being happy is not a challenge. I could not stop shaking my head and feeling myself get angry.

The website goes on further to explain that 71% of people could not complete the challenge due to time. Time? I was not aware that it took time to be happy. I thought happiness was an emotion, a reaction to what is occurring in your life. I don't think that being happy should require thought or action. It should not be forced or coerced out of someone, it should be authentic, genuine and full of freedom to express yourself. If your life is that terrible, change it! A little backdrop for some of you, for two years of my life I was addicted to pain medication because I was hurting physically, emotionally and mentally. I was diagnosed as depressed and it was true. I never wanted to leave my house and it was hard to have conversations with people without starting to cry. My struggles are real and authentic, I don't need to have someone tell me how I should live my life, or that I should smile more. As if they have any idea what was or is occurring in my life. How dare anyone tell me how I should feel when they have never walked in my shoes. Don't presume that I am not happy or that I am not dealing with hard and serious life issues. We all are, and to be told that I am not happy or that I should smile more makes me feel that the work I am doing is in vein.

Do I need to smile to prove to you that I am happy, that I am grateful for my life. What are we looking for? Those that smile all day, that force happiness and joy on others, they think if they smile they will make me happy, as if I am not happy already. These "constasmilers" most likely go home and are miserable. They open up the fridge or break open a bottle of wine to drown their sorrows. You can put up a front, be fake all day but what happens when the crowd goes away, when you are no longer the center of attention or your photo was not "liked" over 100 times on Instagram? I wrote in my last blog post, can you love without being loved back and I mean that, can you wake up and be happy with absolutely nothing? Have you ever had nothing, truly, absolutely nothing at all?

The challenge asks you to post one picture a day of you doing something that makes you happy. I would ask though, what are you doing the rest of the day? Did a photo truly make you realize that you have a great life? I just cannot buy into this idea that posting a picture will make you happy, will make you appreciate the small things in life. I think the source of true happiness is in the everyday moments, when you're not looking for anything or expecting much. I think happiness is momentary and joy is everlasting. I find my joy in waking up and doing what I love everyday. I don't need to brag about my life, prove my self to others over social media and brag about how great my life is. It is and I know that, I have worked hard to do it. I cannot give anyone the solution to a happy life, I can however tell you that social media is probably the last place I would spend my time to feel good about myself. Set your own standard based off of what you love, what makes you feel great about yourself. Be content with the life that you were given.

I really wonder what this "happy" culture will do to us. If we are always happy what will we do when something really awesome comes our way? Don't dilute the feelings that you have, being happy should be a normal occurrence, it should happen everyday but not with force, not by feeling like you have to be happy otherwise your depressed. I hope to shine light on this, to inspire you to feel all emotions at the appropriate times. To be happy when good things come your way and when they come your neighbors way. To cry when you get bad news. To love when the right one comes your way. To dance when the music sings to your soul and to most of all let it happen in stride, in equal measure and without hesitation.