excuse me, did you sign up for the fight?

"the nights you fight best

are

when the kiss of death is mistaken for love.

when the game is fixed,

when the crowd screams for your blood.

the nights you fight best

are 

on a night like this

as you chase a thousand 

dark rats from your brain,

as you rise up against the impossible,

as you become a brother

to the tender sister

of joy and 

move on

regardless."

--C.B.

what drives us to the edge? when all the chips are stacked against us, where we have seen enough darkness, kissed death on the lips, tasted the bitter end, to the point where we must change. no, we have to change, everything; our habits, our goals, our lives.

with maturity has come this new attitude of becoming lost in the chase, instead of having to prove myself with a "see me" attitude, i chase a dream that is mine alone. i get lost in the story of me, sometimes i just get lost in a sea of what i think i want, what i wish i had and how happy i think i would be if i had it all. i recently had to sit down and reattach my goals with my dreams. i envision a life that is possible, that is tangible and that i can touch. and everyday, every single day that passes, is an opportunity to seize all that i can out of it, to truly chase the dream or to let it slip away into the arms of someone who wants it more than me. because that is the true test. do you really want it? 

as children we all wanted that "toy" and we wanted it so bad. it was March, your birthday was months away, Christmas even further but we swore to our parents, buy it for me now and i won't want anything else. but by the time december rolls around we already want the next big thing. that is what i am talking about. i have heard the speech, from clients, friends even family members about what we want, where we want to be but the real question is how bad are you willing to fight for it and what are you willing to give up for that dream? it is not just something you see someone else doing that you want too, it is part of who you are and without it, your life would cease to be as it is. this is what i am talking about. these goals, these dreams.

i found my dreams, i wrote them out in my vision and i turned them into my goals. they wake me up with a little more purpose, help me to stay in the "fight" when all i want to do is eat my face off and push the snooze button another time. one day these goals will become not just a vision that i had, but a reality of a life that i have welcomed and am ready to embrace. i am here to be a light even when all else is dark, to shine bright and to love all those that i come into contact with. what are you doing?

milk

I want to talk about milk. For those of you still consuming milk, even in trace amounts please read. Cow's naturally release toxins through their milk, just like any other gland in our bodies we release toxins through sweating, urine, feces and yes women, our milk. With hormones, antibiotics and genetically modified substances being pumped into them daily can you just imagine what is coming out through their milk??? I will tell you! There is on average 322 million cell counts of Pus per glass, 1.5 million white blood cells (yes, cow's blood) per mL of milk sold, 15-81 different antibiotics that could have been injected into the cow to treat any illness or disease it is facing. Organic milk, while its reduced in these numbers it is not free from them. Not only do we have to switch to milk alternatives such as hemp, rice, coconut, almond or soy but we have to be so careful what food we eat that has milk in it. Look at ingredients. The only milk I would ever drink is when I see the cow being raised, how it is treated and what it is fed and then I would go milk it all by myself and drink it that evening with a huge chocolate chip cookie!

 Cow's milk while it is high in vitamin D is low in Magnesium, a key mineral in our body that is important in more than 300 chemical reactions in the body including helping to keep stomach acid neutralized and bones healthy and strong. The easiest way to get magnesium is through vegetables, not milk, think fiber heavy veggies--squash, broccoli, and leafy greens. The most interesting fact that I saw in my study was that magnesium is used to treat ADHD, lyme disease, cronic fatigue syndrome, migraine headaches and PMS. Of course we can always take supplements, but can we start by eating healthy, drinking so much water and creating a diet that is laden with vegetables, superfoods and fruit! Eating healthy is just one part, but it matters and at the end of the day the food you eat is the fuel for what you want to do, whether it be to move your body and sweat or to sit all day on your couch. Each part matters just as much as the next! I don't have to harm myself or others in the process of refining myself, going through the grit and grunt of life I can be at peace with the fact that even at my greatest moments I am flawed. It is through the struggle that I find peace, through life that I find joy.