Shine On

Why do we run from our problems?
What are we afraid of?
Do our past experiences put us in the constant state of 'fight or flight'?
And how can I start to change my response and reactions?

Before life shaped me, hurt me and damaged me, I saw the world as a playground with so much to explore, to discover. Then I started to gain experience, ego started to form in me. Someone told me, maybe I just saw it, even on the playground at school, what my status was. How important I was in the lives of my classmates, my friends and my family. I formed who I was based off where I lived, what my parents did, what car they drove. I had this perception about life, about who I was and on a scale I would rate that importance. I grew up with that mentality and cared deeply what others thought.

I am glad that I can share my life in such a way that inspires others, what they do with that is at their disposal but I am in love with the life that I was given. I would not change one moment. I have stopped running from my problems, from who I should be, who I want to be. I stand here, sun on my face, sand in my toes, wind at my back and a smile on my face. 

When I was out in the desert, an hour and a half from Cabo, I had no cell phone service (not that I cared) but I realized that life is how busy I want to make it. I work for myself and so I want to make money, I pick up the phone and it is done. I want to sit on a beach and drink Margaritas all day that can happen to. Life is not busy unless you make it busy. You have all these bills to pay for, this life that YOU want, these problems that YOU want. Simplify your life to what YOU want. And try to not talk about your problems to anyone, don’t run from them, confront them. Answer them now and see how much extra time you have to do absolutely nothing. To live in complete bliss, free from worry, stress and yes, problems!

Let this life be a testament of trust, that each opportunity granted, each interaction is for a reason. At the end of my life, I can put it all together and understand but right now I just want to enjoy. When you stop worrying about what everyone else is doing, what you should be doing and just enjoy each moment, each experience as it comes to you, it becomes so real, you feel truly connected to your life and you shine so bright that others stop running just to stare at you!

who i am

I went surfing last Friday for the first time since moving here two years ago. Being out in the water, you can struggle and fight with the water. You can sit and enjoy the water, you can try to catch every wave that comes in. You can wait for the perfect wave that may or may not ever come. It is this duality; land meets sea, fish meets four legs and where my mind struggles to stay present. There is this moment right before the wave picks you up where you connect with the water, it is such a spiritual atmosphere, a washing away of what is not serving you and becoming aware of the moment, each moment that you have. It all has a purpose, the water, the fish, the seaweed. What is my purpose? 

My experience with the water is my own. It does not mean you will have those same feelings but how we relate to the outside world directly affects our internal state of mind, happiness and health. You can be afraid to get in the water, afraid to take a chance in life and that will affect the rest of your life. My thoughts toward myself are either supporting me or they are tearing me down. My yoga practice or surfing session is as easy or as hard as I want to make it and my relationships are as deep and connected as I make them. It is all in how I perceive and relate to the world around me. All of life is a series of choices, I have the ability to create the life that I want by my choices.

I starting thinking about all the violent thoughts that I hear people say all day long. It is all related to their experience. What you do in life is all based on perception. How successful do I want to be, how much love do I want to allow in my life and how much will I give back to the world around me. There is enough for all of us, enough success, enough money and enough love. There are waves rolling into shore all day, the question is, "Are you catching the waves or letting them roll right past you?"

I choose to be true and honest to who I am. I am stubborn and independent, I love turning the music up loud! I love to dance in my socks and bake cookies when I cannot sleep. Eat clean. Work hard. Forgive all. I smile when I cannot contain my joy, laugh often and cry just as much. That is my life, I won't apologize for it but I hope to take you on this journey with me and hope to inspire you to just be you. Be silly, fall in love, break someones heart, learn how to be on your own, laugh loud, smile every moment you can and enjoy this life.