surrender

you cannot find peace by avoiding life

nor can you live by never having restraint

for to truly understand life you have to know the beat of another's heart

you have to give, wholly of yourself with nothing in return

accept defeat, surrender.

Please hold....

The ebb and flow of life. We live for the highs. Love when things go our way. When the universe seems to hear our every thought and answers it better than we even asked for. It is the valleys, the moments of stagnation and holds. It tests our patience, it refines who we are and what we stand for if we are willing. It is hard to be in that space. We get tired, restless and wonder when things will change. It is in those times that we learn the most, we set goals, say things will change. What happens when you are put on hold, stuck with no escape?

There is no way to remain the way you are now: you either become more rigid and crystallize, or you break out of patterns and transform. In yoga, you never achieve a pose, you start to find out how a posture works, you work at that and then continue to break out of old habits and discover better ones. Our bodies change, mind changes; we change. The pose never changes, we change in the pose. We change in this world. We develop to the pose and find ourselves awakened to the body, mind and spirit of each asana and to each situation in our life. 

I firmly embrace this philosophy that we are always changing. With that said there is a space that we must hold, embrace the stagnant movement, feel secure in that space and then move forward. Holding in the asana practice builds strength, challenges the mind and breath. You must develop attention, focus, edge-playing, levers and lines of energy in order to fully grasp a pose. Even then, you must continue to practice, to grow on the mat, to live a life that embodies growth and change even in a stagnant place. If I am not willing to change in the times of holding, why would I change when things are flowing?

We all have a "limp" that keeps us from our full potential. Find what your limp is in the hold. What hurts, why are we irritated and miserable. Fix it! Then embrace that all good things are coming when you live with arms open, heart open and eyes fixed upon your goals!

who i am

I went surfing last Friday for the first time since moving here two years ago. Being out in the water, you can struggle and fight with the water. You can sit and enjoy the water, you can try to catch every wave that comes in. You can wait for the perfect wave that may or may not ever come. It is this duality; land meets sea, fish meets four legs and where my mind struggles to stay present. There is this moment right before the wave picks you up where you connect with the water, it is such a spiritual atmosphere, a washing away of what is not serving you and becoming aware of the moment, each moment that you have. It all has a purpose, the water, the fish, the seaweed. What is my purpose? 

My experience with the water is my own. It does not mean you will have those same feelings but how we relate to the outside world directly affects our internal state of mind, happiness and health. You can be afraid to get in the water, afraid to take a chance in life and that will affect the rest of your life. My thoughts toward myself are either supporting me or they are tearing me down. My yoga practice or surfing session is as easy or as hard as I want to make it and my relationships are as deep and connected as I make them. It is all in how I perceive and relate to the world around me. All of life is a series of choices, I have the ability to create the life that I want by my choices.

I starting thinking about all the violent thoughts that I hear people say all day long. It is all related to their experience. What you do in life is all based on perception. How successful do I want to be, how much love do I want to allow in my life and how much will I give back to the world around me. There is enough for all of us, enough success, enough money and enough love. There are waves rolling into shore all day, the question is, "Are you catching the waves or letting them roll right past you?"

I choose to be true and honest to who I am. I am stubborn and independent, I love turning the music up loud! I love to dance in my socks and bake cookies when I cannot sleep. Eat clean. Work hard. Forgive all. I smile when I cannot contain my joy, laugh often and cry just as much. That is my life, I won't apologize for it but I hope to take you on this journey with me and hope to inspire you to just be you. Be silly, fall in love, break someones heart, learn how to be on your own, laugh loud, smile every moment you can and enjoy this life.